Grief, Politics, and Insomnia

My personal hero who has gotten me through many unsettling things in my life passed away. She was a cherished hero to many and smashed glass ceilings in order for women to be part of conversations.

She was so much more than all of that. She was a mother, a wife, and a woman of tiny stature that stood tall during many major decisions in the court that paved the way for women everywhere. That tiny bombshell of a woman was the amazing Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Grief in the midst of a difficult year

How long do you grieve your personal hero? As I write this, it’s been 3 days and nights since I found out and I haven’t stopped crying, in fear for what will come next.

I am, by all accounts, not a healthy woman, and not by choice. I live with multiple chronic illnesses that present themselves at the worst times. I live with mental illness and struggle to maintain a semi-normal life living with post-traumatic stress disorder.

It’s already been a really rocky 2020 for me, health-wise. I’ve lost a lot of sleep over being ill, being in the hospital, and tending to what is most important to get my health and sleep hygiene and schedule back on track.

Losing sleep over politics

When politics keep me up at night and as we near the election, I find myself losing more and more sleep and needing to take more breaks and naps during workdays. I’ve found myself crying about possibly losing healthcare. I’ve found myself crying at the state that my country is in. And most disappointingly, I’ve found myself not being able to wholly grieve my hero, as so many people in this country want to move on without letting us grieve or let us show our respects and mourn.

I’ve lost a lot of sleep in the last 3 nights. I guess this might be a telltale sign of things to come for the next month plus, with the U.S. election going on in November. What do we do when we aren’t able to sleep because of politics? It’s a real-world problem right now for many Americans and other things in their lives are suffering because of it.

Stressful year? You are not alone

I wish there was advice I could give others so that the rest of this year will not be as stressful as this year has been so far. Instead, I’m telling you it’s okay to grieve and it’s normal to lose sleep over politics. Especially in the climate that we’ve been surrounded by this year.

Don’t be ashamed that you’re losing sleep over something you feel you barely have control of. There are so many people like us struggling to come to grips with how the last year has gone for our country and friends around the world experiencing unprecedented things we never thought we’d have to deal with in our lifetimes.

Letting myself grieve

I’m still grieving. I still cry every time I turn on the TV. I’m going to continue to let myself grieve until my body gives in and just lets me sleep one whole night of uninterrupted sleep. Lord knows how much I need it.

How are you handling this year so far? Share your story below.

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