Balancing Human Connections as an Insomniac
Living with chronic insomnia can be devastating in so many ways. Sleep deprivation has the ability to wreak havoc on a person’s entire life. Trust me, I know from personal experience.
While it may seem like no big deal to some, those who live with insomnia know the reality. Not only can it impact your physical and emotional well-being but it can leave you wondering if you can even be in a romantic relationship. Obviously, this only applies to those that are looking to be in one. :)
We crave connection
In a society that has become increasingly lonely, human beings are becoming more isolated than ever. Most of us weren’t meant to go through life alone.
Human beings generally crave connections. Whether that be in the form of blood relatives, an intimate relationship, friendships, or forming a bond with pets, most of us feel elevated when we have company.
3 ways my insomnia has interfered with those connections
- I am extremely close to my parents and brother who live almost three hours away by car. There have been many times when I have planned to visit but sleep deprivation didn’t allow for me to make the drive. In addition, when I am able to visit, my inability to sleep really impedes on our time together. It upsets me more than words can express.
- When I have had a bad night, it often increases my pain levels (among other things) which has caused me to miss out on whatever event I had planned that day. It makes me feel incredibly guilty for not being there for my loved ones and frustrated that I can’t enjoy the day with others. I also worry that I constantly come across as unreliable since I can’t always follow through with plans.
- Sleep deprivation generally impacts my mood, especially in the morning. I am cranky and just want to be left alone. Because of this, I spend extra time in my bedroom before seeing other members of my family. As an example, depending on the day, I will wait until 11am before being around anyone else.
If you can relate to any of the things mentioned above, I want you to know you’re not alone. I understand how deep it can cut emotionally when you have to miss out on being with people you love.
I know firsthand how devastating it can be to feel so exhausted you can’t get yourself together enough to leave the house, thus not allowing you to enjoy whatever you had scheduled.
I get it.
You are not alone
I also understand the struggle between wanting to be left alone and having the desire to find a partner to go through life with. You want to find a partner who will leave you alone if you need it, but will always be there. You want to find someone who will love you through all the hard nights and next mornings. You want to find a partner who won’t care if you don’t have the energy to take a shower or get yourself together. You want to be loved unconditionally, like the majority of human beings.
You are not alone. Living with insomnia won’t stop you from finding the perfect relationship for you.
Check out Part 2 where I share some thoughts and tips about starting a relationship while living with insomnia.
Do you have any perfectionistic tendencies?