Sleep and Magical Thinking

If there was one magical fix for insomnia, we'd know about it already. Forums like this one wouldn't be needed, and nobody would have insomnia anymore!

Still, magic and insomnia aren't as separate as they might initially seem. Clients in my sleep therapy practice often have what I call "magical thinking" about their sleep, which invariably relates to the time. I call it "magical" because of the unconscious power they give these specific kinds of thoughts. The thoughts become super powerful entities of their own.

I have zero judgment -- I have these thoughts too about various things. Generating these thoughts is just something our brain does, but it's important to know that if we're not careful, we can go along with them in a way that is DEFINITELY not helpful for sleep.

Here are some common examples, along with questions to ask yourself. They might help you feel in charge instead of having your thoughts laying out the night's roadmap for you.

Common Thought 1: A Deadline

Common Thought 1 is some variant along the lines of, "If I don't get to sleep by midnight, then it's all over."

There are two issues with thoughts like this: 1) It makes getting to sleep an anxious process and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 2) It imbues "midnight" with some magical power.

The brain has created an association between midnight and not sleeping. Evolution has trained it to make excellent associations where there is a perception of threat.

The person thinking this may have some history of difficulty after midnight. But does the time on the clock influence what happens after midnight? Or is the real issue an apprehension about having not yet fallen asleep?

If we connect the clock to the outcome, we are making ourselves more anxious and setting up a spiral of worsening sleep.

Common Thought 2: Wake Time Troubles

Common Thought 2 is a variant of "Waking up at 5 is the worst thing in the world, and I get agitated ... but 5:30 is OK."

This takes the thinker out of the driver's seat. Instead of working with the high arousal dissatisfaction and putting the thinker in charge -- it puts magical power into the time. This continues the dissatisfaction, which reinforces waking.

What is it about 5 a.m. that causes this thought? And why does half an hour make such a huge difference to the thinker's emotional state?

Whatever our reasons are, we give them meaning and power. A lot of people like being up at 5, so it can't be objectively the worst thing in the world. It might be deeply dissatisfying for the person experiencing it, though -- and that is legitimate.

I'm not denying this struggle or suggesting that if people just changed their minds, boom, the problem vanishes. I'm not saying that at all. Does waking up early (or having a hard time sleeping) have an impact? Absolutely.

I'm saying that we can habitually "give power" to specific lines of thinking, which can make it harder for us.

An exercise

Questioning the way we think is a very healing skill. It creates distance from the emotional components of the thoughts we have given so much power. For people with sleep issues, these are usually sleep-related thoughts.

Try this: Pick something non-sleep related and observe how you think about it. For example, if you're impatient, stand in a long line at the grocery store. How do long and short lines make you feel? Why do you avoid the long line or choose the short one? Is it about the line itself, or your feelings?

There may not be epiphanies, but it is a good, low-pressure practice to see what you believe about a situation. Sometimes, if we can adjust what we believe, we can make life easier for ourselves ... especially with things we cannot control.

What kind of sleep thinking gets you stuck?