The 5 Stages of Insomnia

I imagine most people think the worst part of insomnia is the endless proverbial seconds, minutes, and hours of a ticking clock. Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick...

But for me, the worst part is knowing that tomorrow I will most likely be the worst version of myself for lack of a good night’s sleep. The 5 stages of insomnia taunting me.

5 stages of insomnia

Lying awake, my eyes closed and my brain on, means I am completely aware of the detriment I am doing to myself and my family. My poor family, the people who will have to live with the monster enraged by lack of sleep. But instead of thinking of them, I lie in my usually comfortable bed which has now turned against me, and ruminate through the 5 stages of insomnia.

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

  1. Denial
  2. I am going to sleep tonight. I know I can. I just need to relax. If I can just find a good position to lie in I’ll drift off to dreamland.

  3. Bargaining
  4. Just let me get 2 more hours of sleep. I promise to change my bedtime routine. I’ll cut all electronics, the phone, laptop, even my Kindle. I’ll stop eating late and give up alcohol completely. I promise I will meditate and take a hot bath before bed every night. Please, just let me go to sleep now.

  5. Anger
  6. I can’t believe I am still awake. Three hours of sleep is a joke. I am human. We were not made to function like this. I should not have to live like this! My family should not have to live with the repercussions of my insomnia.

  7. Depression
  8. I just want to cry. I am so tired of being tired. I cannot continue like this. How can I be expected to live like this? It is not fair. This kind of life is impossible.

  9. Acceptance
  10. I am still not sleeping so I’ll just get up. There is no use lying in bed trying for something that is never going to come. I guess I’ll write.

The aftermath

When I lay down, I can never predict how many hours of sleep I might get that night– 5 hours? 3, 2 maybe? It’s the dealer's choice and my brain is the dealer. Some days we’re in sync, and some days I want to stab myself in the eye.

But nothing compares to the damage I cause the next day. Yelling, snarling, and short-tempered, my family walks around on eggshells trying to avoid my sleepless wrath.

I imagine they have their 5 stages of insomnia too. Only for my husband and kids, I am sure it’s all about dealing with a sleep-deprived monster who has taken the place of their normally loving mommy and wife.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Insomnia.Sleep-Disorders.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.