My 3 Daily Accomplishments Challenge (Part 1)

I’m really struggling with self-confidence and self-esteem lately, especially over the last 2 years.

Recently, my therapist and I brainstormed a few things to help me wind down my day to make me acknowledge that I’ve done something productive each day. Three things each day, more specifically.

Giving myself credit for my accomplishments

I think so often when we are struggling with an illness, physical or mental, it’s really hard to give ourselves credit for things we do. Out of habit, we minimize and don’t take claim of the things that we have accomplished. Because it oftentimes seems like we don’t accomplish much when we live with depression and symptoms that leave us homebound and unable to leave the house for days to weeks at a time.

All of my adult life, I've lived pretty isolated as a defense mechanism, and through therapy, we're trying to break down my walls, brick by brick.

It's hard to avoid comparison with others

This task/accomplishment challenge wasn’t and hasn’t been easy for me; I feel all kinds of guilt not being able to think of 3 things I did that day that I would actually consider productive...without comparing them to other people’s 3 things.

When you live with disabilities, it’s hard not to compare yourself to others and how much they accomplish. Then, add nights of little to absolutely no sleep and your list gets smaller and smaller of what you’re able to accomplish some or most days. Things become harder to do and accomplish when you're only half there due to lack of sleep.

Learning about myself

I’m learning as I take this journey/challenge on for the rest of the year; it has shown me many things. Things I don’t like about myself, things I want to change, and things that despite how terrible and tired I feel one day, I'm learning that the accomplishments I saw in other people I was comparing myself to are completely unhealthy.

No achievement is too small

It's made me realize that some things, like something as small as taking a shower, may be really easy for other people to do without hesitation, but for me, something like this made me feel completely like a new person each time I would do it. I realize how silly this may sound for some people, but for those who live with serious health conditions and insomnia, some of the smallest tasks can feel like the biggest milestones.

For many living with depression, getting out of bed can be the hardest task. This is nothing to laugh about. The deeper you sink into that depression, the more likely you are to lose any sense of control of your sleep schedule – for instance, sleeping way too much, or being completely incapable of sleeping.

Sometimes getting out of bed is the hardest part of living with depression and insomnia. I see you and I know how hard it is to try and start every day over, despite knowing you'll go to bed only to wake up and struggle with the same setbacks every day. If little to no sleep is involved, it's harder to heal within your immune system. It's a vicious cycle.

I don't give myself enough credit

I’m learning I also don’t give myself enough credit where it’s due, because of trauma I faced through most of my teenage into adult years. I belittle myself any chance I can get and later find when I lay my head down at night, I DO find myself wanting a better life for myself. That includes consistent sleep.

I start a lot of sentences in therapy with, “I think if I slept better...” And I realize I can’t use that as a crutch anymore. I’ve been struggling with insomnia since I was a toddler. I certainly wouldn’t blame any small child for being unable to sleep.

Stay tuned for part 2 where I will share some suggestions for feeling accomplished.