Menopause at Midnight

Menopause is a universal rite of passage for women. While some glide through with nary a care in the world, a lot of women experience symptoms ranging from mild to severe. One of the common symptoms for many of us is insomnia. As if there aren't enough problems going on in our middle years, menopause throws that extra spanner in the works and deprives us of the sleep needed to cope with the myriad life stressors present in our 40s, 50s, and beyond.

Tara is a writer who works from home. Her classic menopause hot flashes started when she was 52, accompanied by night sweats, moodiness, and impatience.

"Insomnia started full-on probably about 3 years ago. On a really bad night, I'm getting 2 or 3 hours sleep. On a good night maybe 6 or 7. The rage didn't start until I was 54 and the construction started next door," she says.

"I think it's related to menopause. Before, I would be able to handle it a little bit better than I can now. The emotions become magnified, but in a way that before, I could just kind of take a deep breath and let myself think of this from a bigger picture or from a more practical view. I have always been good at seeing the other side of the table. Whereas since menopause it's like I'm just enraged."

"I work first thing in the morning. My head is spinning and it might have been spinning since 3 AM and I need to just get it all out. I will work until probably about 10 AM, have a shower, head still spinning, then work until about lunchtime."

Navigating irrational emotions during perimenopause

During the perimenopause stage, ovulation becomes irregular and the ovaries produce fewer eggs. This coincides with the decrease in estrogen and progesterone. It is this big drop in estrogen that causes most menopausal symptoms.¹

"I can feel the unstableness of the hormones. I'm getting to that point of not really putting up with crap anymore. Since menopause kicked in it has been a little bit more irrational and I'm having to really be conscious of, 'Okay, you need to take a breath. You need to think about this.' Am I really being logical? Am I being irrational? Am I just being hormonal?"

"With what's going on next door, with the construction, there have been a couple of times when I have gone over and wanted to just completely fly off the handle but I know I'm being irrational. They are just there to do their job. It's not their fault they are having to excavate a stupid lot. It's having a lot of self-talk to get myself through that."

Managing insomnia during menopause

Sleep patterns can change over the years and it has been no different for Tara.

"Because of my lifestyle, I work from home and don't have a set schedule, so I'm pretty much in touch with my body's circadian rhythm. My husband goes to bed around 9 or 9:30 PM, but I'm not tired when he goes to bed and I take advantage of that quiet. I don't start getting tired enough to sleep until probably 10 or 10:30 PM.

"In the past, I usually slept until 7:30 the next morning. That's a great sleep. Now, I wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning, my head is spinning and I cannot fall asleep. Sometimes, it’s related to night sweats. Sometimes, it's just something that will wake me up, whether it's dreaming or menopause. I have woken up a number of times now, completely livid. Like enraged. I'm awake from 3 AM until probably 5:30 or 6 AM and then usually I can fall back asleep."

Sleepless nights can make productivity difficult during the day

"I used to feel my energy levels just drop around 2 PM but nowadays, it doesn't seem to be that way. I'm taking a supplement called Ashwagandha. It's like ginseng and it has helped me a lot – evening me out a little, although it doesn't impact sleep. Since I have been taking that, I have noticed my energy level will sustain me until about 5 PM, and then at that time, I'm okay, I'm done with work and I need to go and do something else."

Idle hands

Insomniacs often need to figure out what to do with themselves when they are awake in the middle of the night.

"I get on my phone and do stuff online, and I also have friends all over the world, so I chat with them. If I'm really stressed or worried about something, I take care of that or make a note of it to look at it in the morning. But I'm also that person who can distinctly remember all the things I worried about and thought about in the middle of the night. That is the first thing I will look at the next morning."

Menopause and insomnia suck

"Menopause sucks and insomnia sucks even more. It's just constantly exhausting. It's hard to explain it to people who are not going through it. Thankfully, I have got a very understanding husband who has probably read anything and everything on menopause so he's prepared and he's been very supportive. But on the other hand, it's like, just shut up and let me be and let me have these feelings. I have to say that sometimes to him. I'm allowed. I'm having these feelings and that is okay."

"He will constantly say to me, 'So you need to be off your device before you go to bed. You need to meditate before you go to bed. Increase your physical activity so that you sleep better.' He's very physically minded and they are principles of sleep hygiene, so he thinks that if I do all of these things, I will be able to sleep better. Of course, it didn't make any difference."

The thought of insomnia being with her for life makes Tara feel angry. She's hoping when menopause has run its course her sleep patterns will return to normal.

"I don't know if that will happen, but I am cautiously optimistic."