The Emotional Side of Living With Insomnia
Last updated: July 2022
We all know that many emotions come with a lack of sleep. You know that feeling after a terrible night's sleep or no sleep at all. You feel cranky, emotional, and out of it. Well, imagine living with that for the majority of the time. Insomnia takes a big toll on my emotions.
The emotional side of living with insomnia
Some nights I sleep ok – not great, but ok. But often there are weeks of sleepless nights. I cannot begin to explain how this makes me feel emotionally. But I will try.
Emotions I feel:
- On edge
I could keep going with this list, but basically, I feel every negative emotion possible. And I am unable to think clearly or positively. The lack of sleep really plays with my mental health. I think irrationally and take everything the wrong way. When I’m feeling like this, I become extremely irritable, and I believe that everyone is against me or out to get me. I know: not rational.
Negativity leads to stress
I become unnecessarily stressed. Stressed about things I shouldn’t be stressed about. I overthink the smallest of things. This usually leads to me crying.
Sometimes when I get like this, I think, "Yes, I’m feeling like this, but it’s because I’m running on no sleep." But even though I know this, it does not help how I am feeling. I could cry over burnt toast. Snap over the smallest thing.
I become a toddler
My lack of sleep is my problem, no one else's. As I write this, I’ve realized that when I’m running on no sleep, I’m basically just a toddler. A toddler who needs a nap. I’m irrational, and I make no sense. I can’t remember what I am saying or doing, or what people are saying to me.
All I want to do is sleep
After nights of no sleep at all, I do not allow myself to nap. I think I will get rid of this rule. It’s not good for my mind or my body. I think that if I don’t nap, I’ll be able to sleep that night and maybe get into some sort of routine with my sleep. But that routine hasn’t come yet.
After these nights, I feel physically sick. I’m weak, have little to no energy, and I feel so nauseous. The next night I usually sleep well. But that doesn’t continue for long.
Emotions lead to physical symptoms
Of course, I don’t feel these emotions all the time. But I definitely feel them more often than I should. Sometimes I cancel plans when this happens because I know I should not be around anyone when I feel like this, and I should rest. And, I probably shouldn’t be driving when I am basically delirious from lack of sleep.
Along with all of these emotions comes physical pain. I will get into more detail about this in the future, but when I don’t sleep, it causes my AS symptoms to flare up.
It’s like a vicious circle because then I can’t sleep because of the pain.
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