Insomnia: My Internal Clock Now Has an Alarm
I have had the strangest thing going on for the last 2 weeks. At first, I thought it was a weird coincidence. After the fourth or fifth day of it, I am thinking my internal clock has somehow set an alarm that I do not want.
Sadly, I do not know how to turn it off. I do not know how to change the time this alarm goes off, and I do not know how to snooze it. It has become a major annoyance.
A sudden, unexpected change in sleep patterns
I am used to waking up off and on throughout the night. In fact, I do not remember what it is like to sleep the whole night through. I have not been able to do that in many years. However, this is much different than anything I have ever experienced in my lifetime.
Every morning at precisely 9:26 AM, I suddenly awaken. It is almost like I have woken up and realized I was late for something. I am suddenly sitting up in bed and feeling a bit panicked as if I missed something or I am about to miss something important. It is always at that exact time, and I always feel panicked.
Jolting awake in the middle of peaceful slumber
This is not the normal waking up with sleepy eyes slowly opening and then becoming annoyed when I realize I am once again awake. This is a very sudden thing and it’s disorienting. Several times, I have sat straight up in bed. It takes me a minute to realize that I am not late and do not need to rush.
If this has been caused by dreams, I do not remember dreaming. And if it is indeed caused by a dream, I wish whoever is in my dream would turn off the alarm clock. It is exhausting to wake up feeling so panicked, and it leaves me feeling on edge for most of the day. It ends with me battling exhaustion throughout the day.
No reason for alarm because I do not need an alarm clock
I should mention that I do not punch a clock. I do not go to school or have a job that requires me to check-in at any time. My clients do not expect me to do anything other than meet deadlines, and I am never running late or behind on a project. Basically, my schedule is my own, and I pretty much do what I want, when I want. I have absolutely no reason to feel like I am late or need to hurry.
There is no reason for me to have an alarm of any kind, and this new internal alarm clock needs to go. I am not a morning person, thanks to my insomnia. When I do wake up, I have to take time to get myself together. I lie awake in bed for a while before I get up and start my day. I have a bit of a routine. This prevents me from following my normal routine, and it is not a great start to my days. I need to find the off switch before I go completely mad.
Struggling to permanently snooze an internal alarm clock
I find the whole thing odd. Why that particular time? I have not a clue, but my brain has apparently chosen that time to sound the alarm that I must wake up right away. Finding myself sitting straight up in bed and wide awake quite suddenly at 9:26 AM every morning is not how I want to start the day. It disrupts my routine, and then I feel out of sorts for hours.
Surely I am not the only person who has had something like this happen. There must be others. If you have had this experience, can you please tell me how to turn off this nonexistent alarm clock in my mind? I would like to return to my normal routine.
Are people dismissive of your insomnia?