Breaking News: Insomnia Can Be Cured

Apparently, there are plenty of people who have discovered the cure for insomnia. None of these people have insomnia, but they know how to cure it. It is so simple. I do not know how I have not figured it out myself. I could have been sleeping soundly for years.

When I think of all the nights I have spent staring at the ceiling, I shake my head, knowing I could have cured insomnia in a number of ways. If you have yet to discover these miracle cures, let me share the wisdom people who do not have insomnia have shared with me.

Get out of bed earlier

Did you know that if you force yourself out of bed earlier every day, your body will adjust and start going to sleep earlier? This is a magic cure to teach your body to sleep when it should. I have been told that if I really want to sleep at night, all I have to do is get out of bed earlier in the mornings.

This magic cure does not work for me. If it were that simple, I would have been sleeping quite well all of my life. It does not matter if I drag myself out of bed early every single morning. I will still be up all night. The only thing this will do is leave me sleep-deprived. My body does not do that thing where it gets so tired it passes out. My brain just starts getting delirious.

Go to bed at the same time every night

Did you know that you can train yourself to fall asleep if you go to bed at the same time every night? Your body will magically adjust as it learns it is supposed to go to sleep that time each night. Just choose a bedtime and stick to it. Over time, you will adapt to the schedule and sleep well every night.

Apparently, I have not waited long enough for this to kick in yet. I have spent many years going to bed around the same time every night. I might not be asleep, but I am in bed around 10 PM every single night. This has been my schedule for a few years. I am trying to be patient and give it time to work, but I am beginning to think this cure does not work for me. Honestly, this does not work for anyone with insomnia. If we could train ourselves to sleep, nobody would have insomnia.

Grandma said warm milk helps you sleep

I cannot tell you how many things I have been told to eat or drink to help me sleep. Not a single one of them works. Warm milk does not make me sleepy. No, I am not going to try it again or keep trying it. I also have IBS and drinking milk at night is likely to keep you out of bed for reasons other than insomnia.

No matter what miracle cure others claim to have, not a single one has cured my insomnia. Considering that none of the people telling me about these cures has had insomnia, I do not understand why they think they have the answers. Am I grouchy? Yes, I am grouchy. This is because I am tired, and people keep telling me what I need to do to sleep.

Have you received unsolicited advice on how to deal with insomnia? How do you handle it? I would love to hear about your experience.