Sleeping Before I Can't Sleep: Is This My New Normal?

“Are you still watching Good Girls?”

There it was just as big as life. Nothing says you've missed an unexplained stretch of time than waking to see that on your screen. It feels like a dig – almost chastising me. Don’t ask me when or how far into an episode I fell asleep, but I missed enough to be completely lost when my eyes finally opened and I pulled myself up off the couch pillows. For a person with insomnia, I sure am finding it easy to drift off while watching television. Also, my new nap patterns are frustrating.

Frustrating new development: new nap patterns

Over the last few months, a new pattern has been developing for me. 20-minute naps have been a pretty regular occurrence, but lately, I have found myself dozing off after a meal to the tune of an hour or more. I know exactly how this turns out. Even the twenty-minute siestas affect my nights. These hours I am losing to Netflix blackouts are seriously impacting my ability to get a solid night’s rest. By the time I lie down, my eyes are wide and my thoughts racing. I am longing for the relaxed feeling I had only a few hours prior.

Time and place

I am well aware there is a time and place for everything, including sleep. I’ve assumed all these years that the time was after 10:00 PM and the place was my bed. Maybe, just maybe, I was wrong.

Could it be that as I have gotten older and insomnia has taken hold of my nights, my body requires some kind of preparation for sleep? As strange as that sounds, I feel like I am on to something. Maybe my time and place begin with the couch and some type of presleep readiness.

Can’t fight the feeling

The feeling that washes over me and steals my hour each night is a strong 1. I have never felt anything quite like it. My entire body begins to shut down and, if I so much as think of going horizontal, it’s lights-out. When I say “lights-out,” I mean almost instantly. The desire I have to sleep at 6:00 PM is every bit as strong as my body’s will to remain wide-eyed and alert at 10:00 PM.

Insomnia is a strange, strange thing indeed. My common sense tells me that the hour of sleep I get missing episodes of shows isn’t enough to sustain me and I should be able to pick up where I left off later in the night. But you sure can’t tell my insomnia that.

Tired and over it

It’s been a difficult school year, much like the last 1, and I am tired. I am ready to sort out my sleep issues. I have a checkup coming up next week and plan to bring up this strangely-evolving pattern with my doctor. Maybe I will find out it’s normal at my age – I really hope not.

If this is normal, I would like a nice dose of weirdness, ya know?