Normalizing My Relationship with Insomnia: Part 2

Continued from Part 1.

When Sleep Became Essential

It took a lot of effort to make peace with my insomnia during my working years. Then, I got sick. My body, already running on fumes, was thrown into chaos with the onset of Crohn’s disease. Suddenly, the sleep I had so often neglected wasn’t just about feeling rested —- it was about healing. And yet, even as my body screamed for rest, insomnia remained. It felt cruel, unfair. I was exhausted beyond belief, yet sleep still eluded me.

During this period of time, I tried everything: medication, strict bedtime routines, lifestyle adjustments. Some helped, some didn’t. But what I eventually realized was that my frustration with insomnia was, in many ways, making it worse. I was fighting my own reality, trying to force my body into a rhythm it had never known.

The Shift: From Resistance to Acceptance

Somewhere along the way, I stopped fighting. I stopped seeing insomnia as something I needed to fix, and instead, I began to acknowledge it as just another part of me. I accepted that my relationship with sleep would always be complicated. That didn’t mean I stopped seeking ways to improve my rest, but I let go of the belief that I was broken because I couldn’t sleep like everyone else.

Now, as a mother, a business owner, and someone who still wears many hats, I have learned to navigate life with insomnia rather than against it. I’ve built in rest where I can, even if it doesn’t always look like traditional sleep. I prioritize recovery in ways that don’t solely rely on nighttime rest -— quiet moments during the day, meditation, allowing myself to slow down when needed.

Tangible Takeaways for Those Wrestling with Insomnia

If you, too, struggle with the mental discomfort of living with insomnia, here are a few things that have helped me find peace with it:

1. Breaking the Cycle of Guilt and Shame. Normalizing insomnia has allowed me to let go of the guilt and shame that often accompany sleeplessness. I no longer berate myself for struggling to sleep, nor do I punish myself for the exhaustion that follows a stretch of bad nights.
2. Setting Realistic Expectations for Sleep. Instead of expecting perfect or even reasonable sleep every night, I accept that my rest will be non-traditional. Some nights will be okay, others will be terrible, and occasionally, I will sleep well. Managing my expectations has helped reduce my frustration.
3. Embracing Non-Traditional Rest. When sleep doesn’t come, I turn to alternative forms of rest—naps when possible, lying still with my eyes closed, or even meditation. These practices don’t replace sleep, but they help me recharge just enough to keep going.

I won’t romanticize insomnia—it is difficult, exhausting, and at times, deeply frustrating. But I no longer let it define my well-being. It’s simply a part of who I am, a constant hum in the background of my life. Some nights are good, some nights are terrible, but every morning, I wake up to do it all over again.