Having a Partner Who Has the Ever-Changing Sleep and Rotating Work Schedule

My partner and I couldn't have more different sleep patterns. He falls asleep fast, is able to fall back asleep right away, and despite being called at any time of the night being on-call, his sleep cycle seems almost undisturbed – at least from my point of view.

We are like ships in the night

I am now back to working my third shift job, and we pass kind of like ships in the night. I am coming home just when he's going to work or has already left for work. I work in a high-stress human services job that doesn't necessarily allow me to unwind as others might after a third shift work night. After taking all my meds, it's still about an hour and a half before I'm semi-able to relax and try to lie down.

I prefer working the third shift

One thing that does help, since I do take so many meds for insomnia, PTSD/nightmares, and other illnesses, is getting all of my pills ready and into a cup. I am able to walk through the door and take them right away so I can get into a good sleep hygiene pattern around the same time every day.

Of course, there are days I have off, which is always a little difficult to adjust to when working the third shift. For the past 2+ years, I've been working the same third shift job because it's easier on my body, my sleep schedule, and my fatigue. Although I don't see friends, family, or daylight a lot, I would much rather work the third shift than the first shift. I've talked before about how it just works better for my body since I've lived with strange sleep patterns since I was a kid.

Making time for physical touch

I've mentioned in previous articles, I've communicated to my partner how important touch is before I go to bed. When he's already left for work, my dog is a huge help – and a magnet – but it's still difficult.

So, we schedule times after dinner when we are both together and make sure to have physical touch in some way to relax – for me, before I work a busy shift, and for him, before he heads off to bed. This way, he can also clear his thoughts from his stressful job. Physical touch is something so very important to me and will always be very high on my "love language" list. It makes me feel secure, loved, and affirmed.

Other things that help

When he isn't there when I get home or isn't there to tuck me into bed in the morning when I get home from work, I surround myself with firm pillows, one of which is actually a big maternity pillow I've used after surgeries. I really recommend this for people with insomnia. It's like a hug, but you control the pressure. And I know the dog loves to lay her head on it too.

What other sleep tips would you add for others in relationships (or even friendships) to stay close when you feel like you, or they are on different time/body clocks? How do you manage a social life while managing sleep and maintaining healthy sleep and social habits?