A woman in bed looking under the lifted bed covers where one arm is tucked beneath.

How Vibrators, Orgasms, and Solo Sex Affect My Sleep

For some of us, sleep is elusive, frustrating, and something much sought after. If insomnia is a common bedfellow for you, you probably know all about the basic tenets of good sleep hygiene. You’ve probably had this person and that person tell you about chamomile tea and melatonin and a warm glass of milk. If you’re lucky, maybe those things helped. But if you have chronic insomnia there’s a good chance they didn’t make much difference at all.

Failing at other relaxation techniques

Insomnia is complex and multi-faceted. There is no 1-size-fits-all when it comes to generating a little shut-eye in the wee hours of the night. Often insomnia is accompanied by agitation and anxiety around sleep. I do not know which comes first, but I remember during the worst of my sleeplessness, I would stare with horror at my pillow knowing the distressing night of restlessness that lay ahead of me. Relaxation did not feature in my life at all. I tried and failed at all the relaxation techniques, despite my best efforts.

Except 1. Orgasm.

Orgasm is a word not often brought up in polite conversation but we’re all adults here. For some people, sex can create a state of relaxation that can lead to sleep. I am 1 of those people.

How sex affects insomnia: releases hormones

During orgasm, powerful hormones are released, including dopamine (the feel-good hormone), oxytocin (the anti-stress hormone), and prolactin (a hormone that can contribute to REM sleep).1-3

In my experience, it is impossible to have an orgasm and worry at the same time. And breaking the worry cycle even for a few moments can bring some blessed release.

Benefits of 'solo sex' for women

Now let’s face it, sex can be messy and I don’t know about you, but I always have a shower afterward which ekes into my rest and relaxation time. The very act of showering ensures I am wide awake.

But solo sex for women can be a quiet, relaxing, non-messy event. And I am here to officially declare that I have used this technique specifically for the benefit of getting a little sleep.

My vibrator helps relaxation

I own a vibrator. Also not often brought up in polite conversation.

But vibrators are a very popular item so I’m guessing I’m not the only person here who owns 1. If I crawl into bed and my head is going a million miles a minute, 5 minutes with a vibrator and I am being flooded with feel-good, relaxation hormones. My head goes still and the worries of the day leave for just a little while.

How orgasms benefit sleep

When you live with a mind and body that will not rest, a short reprieve once in a while is a wonderful blessing. I have not found that orgasms lead to a full night’s sleep. But for me, they have led to a very cozy nap, and the consequences of that are generously delicious. Muscles release tension and the mind releases worry. Then for a short while, I can lie my head on the pillow and soak in the softness of the sheets and be grateful for a body that feels soft and relaxed.

And if I’m very lucky, I doze off into that little bubble of gentle happiness. Just for a little while.

Do you find that sex affects insomnia? Please share a comment.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Insomnia.Sleep-Disorders.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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