How Insomnia and PTSD Affect My Bedtime Routine

Over the past few years, I’ve experienced several traumatic events, both mentally and physically, that have dramatically impacted my sense of safety, in turn, and my body’s ability to relax and/or surrender into dreamland. While I’ve lived with insomnia for the majority of my life, my “toolbox” of sleep tactics and my bedtime routine has had to grow and transition with my changing needs.

In the past, I wrote about post-traumatic sleep hygiene and how for me, many of the traditional recommendations for a good night's sleep either don’t work or haven’t been usable for quite some time. What used to involve a period without screens or blue light, some reading and quiet music, and even aromatherapy just isn’t the right fit for what my body and my nervous system currently need.

My Current Bedtime Routine

These days, I get into bed as soon as I start to feel tired. I don’t wait until I’m nearly ready to fall asleep, and oftentimes I feel like I spend too much time in bed leading up to actual sleep, but it’s what my body asks for.

Setting the scene

Before climbing under the covers, I make sure to brush my teeth and wash my face, take my night time medication for sleep and my other medical conditions, change into comfy jammies (even when I’ve spent the day in pj’s or sweats, I find that changing clothes intentionally for bedtime seems to help my brain shift to that portion of the day), I brush my hair and put lotion on, and then, finally, I get into my bed.

I turn the TV on softly, maybe half the volume as during the daytime, and I almost always choose a standup comedy episode to listen to. I only turn on something I’ve already seen, so I know that I won’t get caught up in paying attention to the story or waiting for the punchlines. Honestly, I have a small collection of these shows - maybe 5-8 of them that I rotate between, so I guess I can say I know them pretty well. The voices are familiar and feel comfortable to hear in the dark when my eyes are closed.

Calming my mind for sleep

I turn my heated blanket on low, I then pull up my weighted blanket, and I spend about 15-30 minutes using the journal app on my phone. This has become a critical activity for me - the “brain dump” portion of my bedtime routine allows me to empty my mind in a way that is not only organized, but it’s written in spaces and in ways that I know I can easily reference during the night or the following day. The app happens to have folders I’ve created and separated by topic, and sometimes I just write on one thing, other times I find I have several things to get off my chest or out of my mind before I’m ready to really fall asleep.

Once I’ve gotten as many of my thoughts out as possible, I put down my phone, put on my weighted eye mask, curl up with my weighted stuffed animal, and practice box breathing until I can drift off to sleep.

The importance of flexibility

If my routine feels off, I always allow myself the ability to change it. This requires really listening to my body and my brain, assessing what it needs to feel safe, and how I can ensure that I do actually get some sleep. This year, my routine has had undergone a few shifts each season to make sure that I’m caring for my body and helping it to unwind as best as I possibly can.

Now there are also nights that my routine goes as planned, but I find myself lying in the dark for too long, getting frustrated about laying awake, in which I call an audible. This usually involves getting out of bed, doing something totally different (ie: journaling by hand into a notebook, reading for a little while, or getting a snack), and then trying to reset myself before getting back into bed to try to sleep again.

A few final suggestions

I have learned over time that my routine does need some flexibility. If your routine isn’t working for you, I’d recommend giving yourself grace, and the option to change things up. Perhaps aromatherapy would be helpful for you. Perhaps it’s a warm glass of milk or some chamomile tea. Maybe you need to eat something small to fuel you for the evening. Maybe you need to unwind for longer between getting into bed and trying to turn off your brain. Maybe you need to keep certain items like essential oils, lotions, weighted sleep masks or stuffed animals, extra pillows or blankets, soft fabrics, and/or other sensory items near your sleep area to support you on those nights when sleep feels more difficult.

Have you tried any of the tools or tricks that I currently use as part of your bedtime routine? I’d love to hear what has and has not been successful for you, and if you have other recommendations for our community members! Share your story here.