Daytime Routine, Nighttime Expectations

I don’t know if it's getting older, spending more time at home due to the pandemic, being a parent, or being more in tune with my body, but I’ve learned that my insomnia isn’t just a nighttime problem.

My daytime routine affects my nighttime expectations

My days affect my nights. In truth, it’s a vicious cycle, right? I wake up exhausted from not sleeping well or for long enough, I pound caffeine and try to raise my endorphins to stay awake during the hours I absolutely must, then I struggle at night with winding down and falling asleep. Thus, I am creating a circular pattern that could very easily start to feel like there’s no beginning and no end – just overwhelming frustration. My daytime routine affects my nighttime expectations.

Daytime routine

Here’s what I’ve found - having a routine during the day, even if it’s simple, helps my internal clock and my body to separate days from nights, times of awake activity from times where I should be resting and even blissfully asleep.

There are absolutely days that the structure and routine go out the window, or are adjusted beyond recognition.  Those seem to be the nights that my body and my mind have a harder time winding down, relaxing, and getting decent rest.

Mornings start with a jolt

They often begin with a shower, then caffeine, breakfast, and a quick check-in with emails. I make a to-do list for the day, sectioning off work, home, and parenting.

Next, I’ve learned that fresh air improves my mental health significantly. But, I live in the midwest. Half of the year, it’s just too cold, or rainy, or windy, or snowy to spend much time outside. So, on days when it's 12 degrees and we are under a Winter Weather Advisory, my fresh air looks like a walk to the mailbox, and a short drive to run a few errands. It wasn’t ideal or fueled with endorphins, but I’ve learned it’s better than nothing.

Eating regularly is also critical. Not eating enough during the day means that even after a good dinner, I find myself hungry and distracted when I’m supposed to be getting ready for bed. And eating before bed – well, for me, doesn’t always work well with the intended fall asleep, stay asleep pattern I aspire to complete.

After dinner, I focus on winding down

Sometimes it's easy to put off projects and other critical thought experiences once my toddler is asleep and my workday is finished. But, those same things often rev up my mind and prevent me from really shutting down when it's time to go to sleep.

So instead, I use the list-making function to bookend my days. I review my lists from the morning and remove what was completed. I circle priorities for the next day, and re-write a list with anything remaining on my mind. Just like my computer, this allows me to "close tabs" in my brain, and release thoughts and mental notes that are preventing me from resting.

Nighttime expectations

In general, I've seen on days that don't look like what I've described above, my nights are rougher. It takes longer, sometimes much longer for me to fall asleep initially, and then anything that wakes me up (a noise, having to use the restroom, tossing and turning) also steals quite a bit of time from my shut-eye. My expectations for nights after tumultuous days are much lower and more lenient than nights after everything has followed along with my loosely sketched routine.

Have you noticed anything similar? Share with us how your daytime routine affects your insomnia at night in a comment below.