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3 Lessons I Have Learned About My Insomnia…and Myself

For the last several years, I have endured insomnia and all the fun that goes along with it. My insomnia started in my mid-40s and really ramped up when I developed the early stages of Meniere’s disease. Of course, I am being terribly sarcastic. (That’s another thing insomnia has given me – sarcasm.)  I have learned several things about myself along the way – not all of them helpful or comforting. For a while there, the learning curve was almost more than I could stand. Three lessons learned about insomnia, and myself, stand out when I think about my evolving life as an insomniac.

My lessons learned about insomnia

1. My insomnia is weirdly predictable

There’s a certain kind of pattern to the madness. I may not sleep well but, rest assured (absolutely no pun intended there) I know when the worst nights are coming.

I can’t necessarily do anything to change the outcome, but I know how difficult my struggle will be before I ever turn off the bedroom light. Tonight will be a good night. How do I know? I know because the last 3 have been hellacious. For every 3 to 4 nights of tossing and turning, I get 1 pretty solid night’s sleep. I’m not generally a betting gal, but I would be willing to wager that I will fall asleep by 9:30 PM tonight and sleep pretty soundly until around 4:30 AM. Here’s hoping.

2. The more anxious I am to fall asleep, the louder my thoughts

I learned this 1 pretty quickly into the adventure. When I get into bed, my mind better be empty – as empty as the bags under my eyes are full, ya know?

If I head to bed with anything on my mind at all, my world begins to spin and night becomes 1 long sleepless journey not unlike Willy Wonka’s boat tour through that insane tunnel – you know the 1. If I manage to drown out the thoughts, I have a slim chance of nodding off for a few hours – maybe. My noisemaker has become a particularly good partner for my Insight Timer app.

3. I have some trigger foods

It’s sad but true. Some foods that never affected me as I was growing up now seriously impact my ability to sleep soundly.

I live in the heart of the South, and it feels like a crime to admit this, but I can’t eat barbeque anymore. I know! How sad is that? There’s a certain acidity level to pork that my body can’t handle. It took me a while to figure this 1 out, but now I know that eating what I love means lying awake for hours remembering what a mistake I made. Meats are not my only trigger. I have learned that most foods with a dairy base lead to long, stressful nights staring at the ceiling.

Lessons learned about myself

I’m getting by telling myself that I will figure it all out 1 day. If I don’t have faith in my ability to find answers, I could easily lose my mind. Admittedly, I find some comfort in the fact that I have come a long way from those first sleepless nights when I wondered what in the world was wrong with me. Slowly but surely, I will learn to navigate my way through insomnia’s winding paths of mania.

Have you recognized patterns in your insomnia? Share your experience with the community in the comments. We would love to hear from you.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Insomnia.Sleep-Disorders.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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