Sleep, Please Don't Be a Stranger
Recently and thanks to my Roku, I rediscovered Perfect Strangers--a favorite show from the late 80s. I have hosted my own mini-marathons and thoroughly enjoyed every minute whether I am watching over the weekend or just before bed on a school night. I’ve been surprised at how many lines and slapstick moments I remember after all these years.
It’s just one of those shows that brings back memories from my childhood--rushing to get a bath so I wouldn’t miss regular evening television shows, quoting favorite lines with my sister, and having a set bedtime (and actually falling asleep).
If it weren’t for bad luck…
As I was lying in bed a few nights ago watching Perfect Strangerson my tablet, I caught a line I had never noticed before. Larry, who is plagued with bad luck as a result of his countless bad decisions, declares with all the confidence he can muster, “Nobody can be wrong all the time!”
I couldn’t help but think about that line later as I tried to find a comfortable position and reacquaint myself with sleep. Is it possible to be wrong all the time? I’m not sure, but insomnia will bring you dangerously close to believing it’s possible.
I'm trying hard to keep the faith
Every night, I prepare for bed with the notion that I will indeed fall asleep. I try my best to will it into existence. I darken the room, turn down the volume on my phone, turn on my fan and noisemaker, and settle into bed. Every night, I wholeheartedly believe I will fall asleep and stay asleep. Every night, I am proven wrong. Maybe Larry is, even in his attempt at being wise and profound, once again wrong. I want to laugh, but it’s not all that funny. Maybe I am that person who can, most certainly, be wrong all the time.
I am trying hard to keep the faith. I would love to be wrong about a myriad of other things--how many wrinkles I have, how many gray hairs I think I spy, or how much exercise I really need. My ability to fall asleep with ease is not one of those things. No matter what I believe about the hours that lie ahead each night, insomnia always wins. It seems, after several years of fighting to find a way to rest easily, insomnia and I are now more familiar than sleep and I have ever been.
A missed opportunity for sleep
Like ol’ Larry there, I seem to be stuck in a pattern of bad luck. Lately, I find myself getting sleepy around 8 p.m. Not wanting to accept the fact that I might actually need to go to bed that early, I put it off and find other things to do believing deep in my soul that I will be even more sleepy later.
Tragically, I think I am fooling myself and missing my window of opportunity. By the time I make it to bed around 10:30 or 11:00, that proverbial window is closed, locked, and the curtains are drawn. It’s a done deal, and my eyes are wide open. There I am, wrong yet again.
I am going to figure this out; I am nothing if not determined. There’s an answer out there for me, of that I am sure. It will take time, a lot of trial and error, and even more patience, but I know I can find a solution for my insomnia. I am tired of being an almost perfect stranger to sleep.
Somewhere out there is a string of good nights--nights when my eyes won’t flutter open every hour or so. There are some nights in my future when I will close my eyes and the alarm will be the next sound I hear. After all, nobody is wrong all the time, right?
Do you have any perfectionistic tendencies?