Getting Answers, Still Tired...
Last updated: July 2023
I have been dealing with insomnia since early high school. I always attributed it to increases in stress, or just how my brain chemistry worked. I learned to live with it in my own way and function with minimal sleep. It wasn't until a few years ago, when meeting with my new Neurologist, that I was told that insomnia is a side effect of the medication I take daily for my epilepsy.
No good night's sleep is worth having a seizure
Everything started to make more sense. I was diagnosed with Epilepsy and started medication in early high school.... the same time my insomnia started. In hindsight, it seems obvious and surprising that it took me so long to put those pieces together. Now, I still take my epilepsy meds daily (no good night's sleep is worth having a seizure over). I have switched to extended-release, in the hopes that it might help with the sleeplessness. So far, the insomia has persisted.
Will I ever find a solution?
At this point, I have been living with insomnia for years, I wonder if the habits I've created are somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy? I listen to audiobooks at night to try to keep my mind from racing over things I can't control, but does the audiobook keep me up in it itself? Some habits I am afraid to let go of, as this has become my norm for so many years. I guess, even with the clarity of where my insomnia stems from, it doesn't seem like it's going to be resolved any time soon. As time goes on, the more pessimistic I seem to get about the potential for finding solutions. I look for ways to make my insomnia more "enjoyable", as opposed to finding ways to make it stop. Maybe that will change as my life continues to develop. For now, I will take things one sleepless (seizure-free) night at a time...
Do you experience painsomnia?