Normalizing My Relationship With Insomnia: Part 1

After living with insomnia for nearly all my life, I came to a realization: if I didn’t normalize or make peace with it, I would forever feel bogged down and almost "plagued" by it. The frustration, exhaustion, and sense of helplessness would never leave unless I changed how I viewed my insomnia.

This shift in perspective wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. Instead of continuing to see my sleeplessness as a cruel burden, I began to approach it with acceptance. Insomnia wasn’t something that needed fixing -- it was simply a part of me.

The Early Battles: Fighting Against the Night

As a child, my parents and I tried to “solve” my sleeplessness. Was it stress? Was it too much stimulation before bed? We cycled through countless theories and remedies, but nothing seemed to stick. When I was officially diagnosed with insomnia in high school, it was almost a relief. At least it had a name. At least I wasn’t just bad at sleeping.

Instead of letting it hinder me, I learned to use my wakefulness to my advantage. Late nights became extra hours to study, to write, to dream. While my friends struggled to stay up finishing essays, I found myself grateful for the uninterrupted hours of productivity that insomnia provided.

Leaning Into Sleeplessness: The Hustle Years

College only reinforced this mentality. I packed my schedule to the brim—early morning shifts at a coffee shop, back-to-back classes, a busy social life, and of course, the never-ending pile of coursework. Sleep was a luxury I couldn’t afford, and in a twisted way, I prided myself on my ability to function on so little of it. Insomnia became less of an adversary and more of an ally, a force that fueled my ambition rather than hindered it.

But once I graduated and entered the workforce, the cracks in my sleepless armor started to show. Sitting at a desk for eight hours a day without the stimulation of constant activity made my exhaustion more pronounced. I couldn’t rely on adrenaline to push me through. For the first time, I felt the full weight of my insomnia, and it was heavy.

Understanding Insomnia as a Part of My Life

Accepting insomnia, rather than treating it like an enemy I must defeat, has helped to reduce my insomnia-related stress. In some ways, this mental shift has even made it easier for me to fall asleep. By reframing my experience, I’ve learned that living with insomnia doesn’t have to be devastating or all-consuming—it can be manageable. This doesn’t mean I love my sleepless nights, but it does mean I no longer resist them with the same frustration. Some nights will be better than others, and that’s okay.

Check back soon for Part 2.