Never Sleep
I understand that this is a no judge site and I understand that everyone experiences their own situation. But I'm reaching out hoping someone is like me. I've had insomnia for as long as I can remember (I'm 41). It takes me well over an hour to fall asleep and when I do I get like, 2 solid hours then I'm constantly tossing and turning and just trying to fall asleep again or else I'm wired and just can't sleep. On a great night I get 6 hours. A good night it's 4 and most nights tossing and turning and maaaaybbe 3 hours worth of sleep but usually clocked at 2 according to my fit bit. Does anyone else have this level of insomnia?
I think you are suffering from a high level of Insomnia. In my case, I tried many things to overcome Insomnia. I tried several things like listening to soft music and talking to someone before bed. Unfortunately, none of these worked for me. So I consulted with the doctor through telehealth Ongo Care. I have done many video sessions with him and he helped me to come out of my sleep disorder. He prescribed me a sleeping pill melatonin. It has worked wonders. It doesn't affect my mood or my day-to-day activities in my life. Many people's main concern with sleeping pills is that they can affect their mood or cause their health conditions but that is not in my case. So I suggest you go with the best doctor that helps you with your sleeping issues.
I completely understand where you're coming from and I'm glad that you reached out for support.
I. FEEL. YOU.
If one more person lists sleep hygiene practices at me, I will be surgically installing a blue light directly into their retina. (A joke, of course). But people, though meaning well, don't realise how ridiculous it is. The idea that someone who gets 2-3hrs sleep a night, making their life miserable, hasn't had a big google about how to fix it.
I've had insomnia... forever(ish?). My mother took my 10 year old self to A&E after I hadn't slept for 3 nights, begging them to just make me sleep.
I can't fall asleep, and I can't stay asleep. I follow most sleep hygiene to the letter, but I am a shift worker so sticking to an exact routine is impossible.
Maybe once a week I'll get 6-8 hours, but otherwise, its generally 1-3. After a few night of this, I struggle to function. I tremor. I get vertigo. I have memory issues. And I crave sugar so badly I spoon honey out the jar.
The key problem for me is raging adhd. I simply do not possess the "off switch". I am just 100%, all the time. I'm not stressed or anxious. My brain just wont shut up, and sitting still makes me itchy.
I've refused benzos and Z drugs for sleep. Because to me, that's the point of "game over". Life will never be the same, and I'll always be a sedated, false, version of myself. I'm 27. I don't want to subject myself to a lifetime of relying on ever increasing hypnotic drugs.
And it's terrifying because I'm a vet. I worked so hard to get to where I am. The sleep loss never used to really affect me, and I functioned well. But it's becoming so clear that the older I get, the more the damage is accumulating. This week is the first time ever I've had to call in sick to work because I was so sleep deprived (showing the signs I mentioned above), that I just did not feel I was fit or safe to practice.
To summarise, it is just shit. I don't have anything useful to add, and no magic advice. But I suppose just know that you're not alone.