At what point are you left with the ultimate decision?
I'm 38, had sleep and mental health issues for 20 years. But insomnia went into overdrive 6 years ago and hasn't let up. I quit my job cos the issue got so bad, was only working part time back then anyway but it was impossible to endure.
In 6 years I have not felt sleepy once. In the evening around 10-11:30pm I have micro sleeps where I doze off for 0.001 second then snap awake. Its weird cos it just happens unexpected when I'm awake all of a sudden. I eventually get the message from my brain I should go to sleep.
Usually takes me 30+ mins to fall asleep, but I wake up in short spells have utterly insanely long intense dreams where you think 3 days have gone by but its been at most 90 mins. And the dreams get more intense as night goes on. Eventually I wake up with tingling all over body, dizziness and high anxiety. It gives me a brain hangover where you think your brain is straight up dead most of the day.
Once or twice a week I help my brother clean carpets, and its hard because doing anything physical is daunting, especially early mornings, with only short breaks and using heavy machinery. The constant dizzyness is just frustrating, I can't make it go away.
Any slight negative thought about sleep sends the anxiety further. I have no life because of this. Feel like I am being tortured 24/7/365. Worse thing is that talking about it with anyone around me is futile. People think I'm lazy, that there is nothing wrong with me. Its impossible to vent it.
I have tried just about everything you can think of, even went to cambridge hi tec sleep study(which didnt even work), but mainly study the new school of insomnia via 'Sleep Coach school' (highly recommend). Have been understanding what he's saying for 2 years, but I cannot seem to apply it at all.
My life has gone by, I still live with my parents because of constant health problems for 20 years. Everyone around is getting on with their lives. I dream of getting a job, getting a relationship, moving out etc etc. But I feel crippled by this, and it does not get easier.
Death seems like bliss right now.
read your msg ! I am 43 suffered with chronic insomnia for 16 years and watched my physical and mental health go down hill. Listen to me life doesn't stop because of this. It's an absolute mind f###...i know everything what your saying and I'm listening to you because I've been they're I still get good and bad days. The best advise I would give you is try looking into (act) acceptance and commitment therapy stuff the more you accept it and tell yourself right ok this is happening right now and and telling yourself that then you start to just deal with it differently. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with on top of the feelings and sensations that your body and mind go through. I honestly know where your at I could go on and on with my journey but i would be writing a book... you ar not alone we are all here for you ❤️ also if it helps check out @TherapyinaNutshell this woman is really good start practicing mindfulness meditation 10 minutes during the day get i to this routine by trying to manage the stress levels during the day and do it at night to calm yourself.
That is some great advice. Thank you for offering support and joining in the conversation. Have you found anything that helps you sleep? Best of all wishes. - Lori (Team Member) 
I love her channel - she's amazing! ACT was a game changer for me with my sleep and with lots of other areas of life. So many people think it means 'giving up' to accept what's happening - or that it means we aren't doing something to help ourselves. No - it's about freeing up energy and empowering ourselves to focus on what matters to us most regardless of what's happening. Thank you for joining in! Warmly, Tracy (Team Member)
I can't even imagine what you are going through right now,
. The quest for help itself must leave you physically and emotionally drained, but you can't give up. Somewhere around one of those corners, there might be answers. It would be a shame if you gave up just before you found them. Find the authors of the best books on sleep, find the researchers of the most cutting edge studies, find the most highly recommended neurologists or neuropsychiatrists you can and contact them. See whether they might have an interest in your case. Keep seeking answers. Have anyone prescribed you medications to help you sleep? Here is an article about prescriptions medications that might interest you: https://insomnia.sleep-disorders.net/prescription-drugs. Maybe you'll find something you haven't tried that will helps. I wish we could be of more help, but please know we are here for you whenever you need support or a safe place to blow off some steam. Thinking of you and sending the best of all wishes your way. - Lori (Team Member)
