Anxiety due to work travel and leaving baby triggered insomnia

Hi All. I’m new to this community, but have already found the many posts very helpful and comforting. Thank you!

I’ve always been a light sleeper and anxious person. I’m very active with HIIT training, yoga, walking to counteract my stress. I’m a healthy eater. Basically I tick all the boxes for “mindfulness”. I have a prescription for klonipine that I only use for flight anxiety occasionally. Ironically, I’m so driven to be “healthy” that I’ve become a control freak about things I can’t control so well…like sleep.

Work travel just ramped up for me. I’ll be doing three consecutive international trips in the next two months. I also have an 18-month old and have never spent more than a night away from him. A few years ago this amount of travel would be the best adventure ever for me. However, now I have my son who I love dearly !

A week ago I regrettably read a stressful email right before bed and it triggered me. I slept maybe four hours tops. I figured I’d just make up for it the next night, but no. I slept under two hours the next four nights. I noticed I started to get the shakes when I thought about sleep because I was so scared I wouldn’t fall asleep. I also would come close to drifting off, but then my body would try and hold onto wakefulness. This mind game has never happened to me before.

I took .5 mg of klonipine before bed that past two nights and did sleep 7.5 hours both nights. However, I had the shakes from nerves both when I went to sleep and when I woke up. I still feel so exhausted.

I also have no appetite.

Am I on the road to being a bad sleeper every night ? Does anyone have similar experiences? I don’t consider myself depressed, just nervous…like a small dog who shakes ha!

I wonder if I’m just really nervous to be away from my son for the first time and it spiraled into being nervous about sleep.

Thanks for any thoughts from this excellent community.